Why it's so much harder the second time

If I'm going to be honest (which I really try to do on this blog, but sometimes am not as blunt as I could be), this pregnancy is 10x harder for me than the first.

For starters, this little man...

...is definitely going through an interesting phase right now. I use the word interesting, because even though I want to use a much harsher word at this point in our lives, I know it's not really that bad. But, let's face it, I'm stubborn and can be sassy. Jason? Well he's definitely stubborn, and strong-willed. So the fact that our sweet adorable little son would be stubborn? Strong-willed? Shouldn't be a surprise!!

Brody is at a stage where he can verbalize what he wants, but isn't old enough to understand that sometimes you just don't get what you want. This ensues with a lot of arguments about what to eat, how late he can stay up, whether or not he can watch tv...etc. Then there is the utter defiance when he doesn't get what he wants. He doesn't know how to show frusteration, so there is a lot of screaming in our faces and every once and awhile, hitting.

All of this is hard enough for any parent to deal with (it's just a phase though, right?!?), then add pregnancy stress, nausea and exhaustion on top of it? It definitely doesn't help.

Which brings me to how my second child is treating me (not that I can blame a baby in utero). But my nausea has been much worse with this little one and the exhaustion is probably the same, but much harder to manage with a two-year old to take care of.

Then...if all of this didn't make it a more difficult pregnancy...

I started a new job (same company, new position). Yes, this was a very good thing for me and my career. It was totally the right thing, and I am very excited/happy about it. But good stress is still stress. Learning something new, taking on a young (experience-wise) team and trying to improve things requires a lot of time and effort.

Then on top of everything else, Jason is going through a lot of turnover at his work, which with his lovely title of VP, makes him responsible for picking up the slack. Which makes him just as tired and stressed at the end of the day as I am (well I've got the baby-making thing tiring me out, so maybe he's not quite as tired as I am...)

Of course add all of this up and I realize that I haven't focused on baby#2 very much. When you're pregnant with your first, it's all you can think about and so much of your focus. So when I realize I'm already 16 weeks pregnant and time is flying by, I feel bad that I am not as connected to this baby as I was to Brody.

Things were so much easier the first time around. Don't even remind me how much harder having two children to look after is going to be!!