One year ago today, I returned to work after 12 wonderful weeks of maternity leave. I will be honest, I was happy to return to work and 12 weeks was actually a little longer than I think I needed. Brody was taking 4 hour naps at home and I got a little stir-crazy. With a second child (down the road...) 12 weeks probably won't seem boring when you have an older child to take care of at the same time!
Now, a year later, I am still glad that I work. As hard as it is at times, I do love my job and what I do. I know that Brody is well taken care of at daycare and I know they are much more creative than I would be as a stay at home mom.
There are a lot of challenges to being a working parent. But I think the one thing that makes us working mothers stress out more than our male counterparts, is guilt. I constantly feel guilty that I'm not doing enough for Brody or spending enough time with him. I feel that men can look at this more rationally, where I tend to be more emotional about it. Jason will be the first to tell you that we need time together just the two of us and that we both need to make sure to make time for ourselves as individuals as well. But then I instantly worry that it's taking away from Brody. Especially since I spend so much time away from him at work.
I will also tell you that I am definitely my worst critic. I often feel that I could be a better mother, a better employee and a better wife. Don't even get me started on how I could be a better daughter, friend and sister... That said, Brody is obviously thriving, I was promoted at work and my husband continues to love me. Clearly I'm not failing!
This isn't a blog for reassurance that I'm doing okay, this is just something that I think most mothers struggle with and I'm no exception. The desire to do the best for all of those in our lives with not enough hours in the day to do it.
While I know that one day it will probably get even harder, for now the three of us seem to have a system that works and I love every minute of my life with my favorite two boys.
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